At first, I enjoyed my drive through the streets of love.
It was a one way road, I knew that. But, the rush of being in your highway excited me. I wanted to catch your attention, so I ignored the red stoplight flashing madly, and I continued my drive. I disregarded the U-turn signs that told me to turn back while I still could.
The ride was perfect until I made a wrong turn and reached a dead end.
I crashed into you.
Some accidents don’t cause much damage, but my collision with you was destructive. It was inevitable. I didn’t have anywhere else to turn to, and it was too late to stop. I couldn’t do anything to at least reduce the impact. It destroyed me completely. I never truly realized it till now because even if my windows didn’t crack and my doors remained tightly shut, your impact was strong enough to wreck the parts that kept me running— important parts I needed in order to function properly. They were parts hidden under the hood of my entire being, yet you managed to shut them down completely and indistinctly at the same time.
The worst part? It was a clear hit and run. You ran off without noticing the catastrophe you caused. I was left to fend for myself, broken and alone.
I tried to repair the parts you destroyed, but I knew it was pointless. So, I took my broken parts off, and I found myself off track, cruising heartbreak avenue.
The road was long, never ending even. I did not have a map, and for the first time, I was lost, and I was empty.
For this very reason, I wanted to find my way back to you.
Even if your boulevard was dangerous, I wanted nothing but to navigate my way back to it. I wanted to be there again because the few short seconds I was in contact with you were the only seconds in my entire life when I felt absolutely complete and alive.
Maybe if I’d watch the stoplights intently, I’d know when I should stop, when I should go, or when I should just take it slow. Maybe if I look at the signs, I’d find an easier way to get to you. Maybe if I drive slowly, I wouldn’t crash into you.
But I have nothing left for you to destroy. I also have nothing left for you to repair.
I was an empty soul wandering in heartbreak avenue.
For this very same reason, I had no use of stoplights and road signs. I was willing to crash into you again.
I had, after all, nothing left to lose.