Back to strangers

Is it that easy to leave me?

I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong. What else do I have to do just to make people stay?

I try my hardest to be someone worth staying for, but why do I always end up alone?

ALONE

I try to understand everyone and everything even though some excuses don’t even make sense. I listen to every problem and do everything in my power to help fix them. I give everything I have and even everything I don’t just to make people smile. I don’t even bother them with my problems. I just keep everything in because I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. I forgive so easily and brush shortcomings off even though some really do hurt. It’s not that I’m turning a blind eye to all the faults. It’s just that… my love for the people around me is so much greater than their mistakes.

What else do I have to do?

Is my love not enough or is it just really that easy to forget someone like me?

I’m that someone stuck in that border between average and interesting. I’m that someone who has enough to be included in the crowd but not enough to stand out. I’m that someone who can do anything and everything but masters nothing. I’m that someone who’s special and not at the same time.

Which is why I try. I try so hard.

I try to make people feel special because I know what it feels like to be forgotten. I try to send messages just so they know I’m still here. I try to reach out even though I often get pushed away. I try to give them everything I don’t get because not getting them hurts. I try to give so much time and effort without expecting (and getting) anything in return, even though I wish it would be returned. a

At the end of the day, I’m just on a one-way road. No matter what I do, I just go back to being a stranger to the people I love, and it makes me think if I’m really not worth it.

I’m the one who stays, through the good and the bad, so tell me why they don’t.

I’m the one who never forgets, no matter how small the details are, so tell me how they forget.

I’m the one who tries to build friendships, so tell me why I only get walls in return.

I’m the one struggling to hold on, so tell me if it’s really that easy to let me go.

Is it? Is it really that easy?